What to Do When Shame Comes to Visit

Let's face it, you can not live a life worth living without making mistakes. Getting things "right" involves going through a lot of "wrong."

And some of those "wrong" choices of word and deed come with a heaping helping of regret. And when regret appears, you can be sure that shame is following close behind.

But here's the thing, when shame comes to visit, you don't have to extend it an invitation to come in for an extended stay or even an overnight. You don't need to invite shame in for lunch or even tea.

Don't draw the shades and lock the door. That only encourages shame to hang around. And shame is very patient and extremely persistent.

Instead, meet shame at the door and thank it.

"Thank you shame for coming by. Your presence is an indication I have some work to do. A mistake to own, apologize for, and make amends for. And sitting with you, for even a minute, will only get in the way of the important work I need to do to make a wrong a right. So, thanks again for swinging by, I'm quite sure I'll be seeing you again."

And then practice the 4 Rs of an intentional, healing, & meaningful apology: recognize that you're wrong, take responsibility, express regret, make it right and then move on to what's next.

What do you do when shame comes to visit?

Until next time, keep flying higher. BTW, it's much easier to do so without the weight of shame hanging around your neck!

Keep flying higher!

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose

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