Sitting with Sonder

I was initially introduced to the concept of sonder by Seth Godin.

Sonder is defined as that moment when you realize that everyone around you has an internal life as rich and as conflicted as yours.

Sonder brings to mind the Stoic practice of not judging others too harshly when they speak ignorantly or behave badly.

“To feel affection for people even when they make mistakes is uniquely human. You can do it if you simply recognize: that they’re human too, that they act out of ignorance, against their will, and that you’ll both be dead before long. And, above all, that they haven’t really hurt you. They haven’t diminished your ability to choose.” - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 7.22

Your actions are informed by your beliefs which are in turn informed by your observations and experience. All of this filtered through your inner narrative and drive for “self-preservation.”

Accepting that we’re all imperfect beings doing the best we can while blundering our way toward excellence helps me practice compassion for others and, as important, toward myself.

Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at C reative on Purpose

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