"I'm sorry that you feel that way.” (And Other Lies We Tell)

personal development Sep 02, 2019
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You're in a conversation or an email or text exchange. You say or write something that unintentionally, or unconsciously, or otherwise causes injury. The person on the receiving end expresses that they feel hurt or harmed.

And so you say, "I'm sorry that you feel that way."

Let's be clear. "I'm sorry that you feel that way," is not an apology. It's a non-apology. It’s a refusal to accept or even consider that you contributed to what just happened.

Sure, maybe you've been misunderstood or misinterpreted. Or perhaps you're ignorant or unaware. But that doesn't mean you're off the hook.

This is not a time for righteousness and outrage. This is an opportunity to practice kindness, compassion, and selflessness. This is a chance to make things better and move forward.

Need some help with framing an appropriate apology? Try the 4 "Rs" of an Intentional, Meaningful, and Healing Apology.


Scott Perry, Chief Difference-Maker at C reative on Purpose

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